Tuesday, October 17, 2017

"Jet Er Nok" ; I am Enough

Dear Readers,

"It's not the world that has changed, it's me that has changed." - Heard at a meeting

When I read all the sober bloggers, and think about my friends, family, and myself, I notice one of our underlying human themes is that we are not enough.
We cannot accept who are, always striving for more, wanting more, comparing ourselves, grasping.

I used to be so angry at myself for not being thin, for not being a better teacher, for not having more friends, for not being a better singer, for anything.
I used to not accept who I was.
There were times I hated myself.

It really is only since I have been in recovery for my drinking, going to AA, reading sober blogs, finding a good therapist, and finding a recovery group on Twitter, that I have slowly turned this around. I am learning about self-compassion. 

Recovery has allowed me to learn to be kind to myself. This is new to me. After all the hate and anger at myself and my body, I am learning to treat myself nicely. With love.

Recovery has allowed me to focus on what I have, not what I don't have.
Being grateful is one of the most important lessons I have learned to help me connect with my inner loving spirit.

Recovery has meant I realize I am part of the human race, and all of us suffer. 
Every human in the whole world has felt rejected, hurt, or have made bad choices.
When I forget that, I get focused only on me, my problems, and poor me.

I am learning my negative thoughts are not true. I can observe them, but not believe them.
Being kind to myself means I can be kind to other people. Forgiving myself means I can forgive others. 
I Love This Guy!

The world continues on, with good and bad things. People continue to hurt each other, and be kind to each other. Nothing has changed.
But I have. 

I do not hate myself anymore.
I am not perfect, but human.
I am enough.

With Loving Thoughts,
On Day 1,138,

Wendy


Tuesday, October 3, 2017

I Sing Red Leaves

Dear Readers,
I will be 37 months sober on October 4.
There is nothing I am more grateful for than being sober today.

Mr. UT and I thank you all so very much for your kind words, love, and prayers!

The good news is the lung doctor does not think I have any lung disease. He said the ER radiologist "over-read" the chest X-ray.
I will have a CT scan, and he will wait until he sees that to make final decision, but hubs and I are 80% hopeful!
Of course, we will still have to figure out what is going on with my breathing, but at least it seems we have eliminated all of the major bad things! 
It was a lesson learned, to wait until I have more information before I freak out.

Which is the hardest thing in the world for me...to stay present, and not project into the future.
The future is fantasy. 
I can plan for it, but how it turns out is out of my control.
I can plan trips, save money, look forward to spending time with hubs, but in the end, I know trips might be canceled, money spent elsewhere, and hubs might have to work longer than I thought.
I just don't know.

What I do know is, I want to be aware of the here and now. 
I want to pay attention to things that matter. 
I want to check up on friends and family and make sure they know they are loved.
To be sure hubs knows how much I appreciate him and all that he does for me.
To really listen to people before I jump in to offer advice.
To be grateful I have a roof and food today.
To make the bed and do the dishes.
To embrace the rainy and the sunshine day.
To say thank you to people.
To smile.
To be my highest self, today, right now.

I wrote a poem last week, when I was feeling a bit down about not being able to hear music. 
But I am so grateful I was able to get a cochlear implant so I can hear words. I can talk to people! What a wonderful invention! How lucky and grateful I am that I have health insurance that paid for this.
I have hope that someday the makers of the implant can make better software so I can hear music again, but if not?
I am still grateful. 
From One of My Many Walks!

I Sing Red Leaves

There is no music left in my ears,

There are only strange noises, 
That come out of the radio,
Like sticks banging and alien songs.

There is no music in my guitar,

Or piano anymore,
They don't speak to me in a
Language I understand.

Some days I cry,

Some days I can accept,
That my music lies somewhere else,
That my songs are of a different color.

Not deaf to all,

I hear music of good things,
I hear the beauty of nature,
I hear the sweet touches from my love.

Not deaf to the songs, 

That still sing in my head.

Can I not sing these in gratitude,

To all that I have?

I sing red leaves and blue sky,

I sing love and memories,
Some days I cry,
Some days I say yes.


With Hope and Love, 
On Day 1,124,
Wendy

PS - My friend in recovery, Dan Maurer, who writes the Transformation is Real, on FB, is also an author. He has a new book out, called Endure: The Power of Spiritual Assets for Resilience to Trauma & Stressthat I have read. bit.ly/ENDURE-Book


It's a beautiful book, with stories of people who have gone through different traumas and yet, are resilient.  In the book, Dan reminds us to focus on spiritual assets that will help with the stress; honesty, acceptance, gratitude, hope, faith and love.

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Broken Body

Dear Readers,
My body just doesn't want to give me a break.
I have been struggling with breathing issues, which over the last 6 months have gotten worse.
I can't catch my breath if I do anything physical, even sometimes just doing the laundry is really hard.
The last time I played golf with a friend, I was gasping for air.
My primary doctor said I had asthma, then she said it's not asthma. She had my heart checked, and that was okay.

I haven't been able to do yoga, and kept having to leave because of not being able to breathe.
Last Monday night, I had to go to the ER after I left yoga because I couldn't catch my breath.
What they found on my chest x ray is that I have emphysema and fibrotic changes in the lungs.
So on Monday I will be going into see a lung doctor.

I have never smoked.
Of course, when I read about these lung problems on Google, I get even more upset.

It's been heavy week. My emotions are all over the place. I know I have no choice but to accept this, but it is scary none the less. 

I have made it through many health problems.  I know I will live with this one. But in the meantime, all I want to do is cry.


With Much Love,
On Day 1,119,
Wendy

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Color of Sobriety

Dear Readers,
Sunset on Garden Lake, Ely MN

Fall is here, and although the temperatures are still rather warm, you can feel it in the air, feel the light changes, see the changes in the leaves, and even smell it.

Fall brings both beauty and anxiety for me.
For with the beauty of the fall leaves, and cool crisp air, also comes anxiety of the dark days, and low light that bring on low energy and depression.

Perhaps it's my mood today, although I feel good, maybe I'm just in a reflective mood.

Life is colors for me. I color things in my mind, see emotions in color, and breathe colors in and out.
Blue is the color that beings me the most peace. It's my protective color, and when I wear blue, or see blue, it's calming. 
Grey is my depression color.

Yesterday, I met a woman who looked sad. She was smiling, but I could see pain in her body and face.
Later I found out her son was in treatment for the 15th time. 
I felt so sad for her. I wished hope for her and her son.
I think that colored my world a little grey. 

My past drinking did not just affect me, but everyone around me. Even people I did not know, such as the clerks in quick shop stores, where I'd go and buy a bunch of junk food after drinking. They must have known I was drunk, and who knows how that affected their day, perhaps they went home feeling a little grey.

Addiction was stealing everything that was good in me. It was stealing my vibrancy, my joy, my love. It was stealing my happiness, my creativity, my empathy. 
Golfing! 

And in place of the goodness, my drinking was giving me pain, anger, resentments, judgments, and selfishness. 

My addiction to alcohol was bringing my marriage a great deal of grey. It was eroding all the good things between hubs and I. My recovery has meant the return of the calmness of blue.
We are happier now, and I like happy. 

With Much Love,
Wendy

Monday, September 4, 2017

3 Years!

Dear Readers, 
On September 4, I will be sober for three years.

For over 15 years we have gone up north to a cabin with several sets of friends, where we canoe, hike, and swim. It's beautiful up here with the lake, the woods, and huge rocks. 

But this is also a hard weekend for me.

I have a difficult time with my social anxiety, because there are many people, and I struggle to hear. 

It is also a big drinking weekend. 
In the last few years, before I stopped drinking, I would get very drunk. I would sneak wine, I would get very moody, trip over things, and isolate a lot. I tried to use drinking to deal with my social anxiety.

The first two times I came up here sober, seeing all the wine bottles, and other drinks, made me very anxious.
This year, at 3 years, was much better, and I had few worries around other people drinking. 

I wish I had wisdom for everyone about how to stop drinking and be happy.
I was reminded in a post by Primwho has been sober for about 4 years, about the decisions we need to make to get and stay sober.

I thought about that, and looked at the choices I had to make each day to be sober today.
After my last slip, I had to make that hard choice...do I continue this unhappiness, or do I stop.
Day after day, I had to make choices, or decisions about drinking or not drinking, about reaching out for support or keeping a secret. 
Day after day, I had to make a choice about facing life with a poor me attitude, or one of gratitude. 
I had to make the choice of staying sober, or driving drunk. 
So many choices, so many decisions, but I kept choosing the one that brought me peace of mind.

Slowly and surely, time passed, and here I am.
I never want to go back to the pain I experienced when I was drinking.
I do not want to bring that pain back to my husband.

I do want to continue being happy that I stopped. I have more joy and life now.
Do I have problems? Of course, and I shutter to think about how I would handle them if I were still drinking.

This is a process, and it is on-going. The life-giving choices of not drinking are much easier today. But the thoughts of drinking are still with me. Recently I was driving by myself about an hour from my home, and I was going to be gone all day. I felt free driving by myself.
I passed several places that whispered to me to come and stop and have a drink. No one would know.
I made the choice to keep driving past, reminding myself that the addiction voice is strong.
It's why I choose to continue to write, to read, to go to meetings, to help other people in recovery.

Life is better sober. 
It's really as simple as that.

Thank you to all of those who are on this path with me, because I truly can not do this alone.

With Love,  On 3 Years, or 1,095 Days.
Wendy

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Hope

Dear Readers,
Addiction is tough. It kept me lost, and in denial for many years.
I refused to believe I had a problem. I refused to believe that I couldn't moderate.
I refused to believe my husband who told me I had to stop drinking.
Even after having to go to the hospital after drinking all day, and passing out, I refused to believe I had a problem.
Even after coming home drunk, falling down that stairs, I refused to believe I had a problem.
Even after falling down at a broadway play, I refused to believe I had a problem.

I am not sure why one day I was able to stop, why one day I was sober for another day, or why one day I had hope.
I had hope I could keep going.
I had hope that things would get better, that cravings would stop, that I wouldn't feel so strange at parties, that life would seem less difficult.

I had hope that I could find the pieces I had missing inside of me, that I would find my way back to Wendy, or discover a new part of me. 

And these things are happening. 
I am finding my way back home. 
I am no longer in denial, and I have hope that each day something good will happen. 

I have met so many people who are in recovery from both drugs and alcohol, and each one of them teach me something, each one shows me what hope looks like. Their lives all have hope, an expectation that things will be okay. They show me what hope looks like, even when things are overwhelmingly hard.

They take life as they do recovery, one day, one moment at a time.
They teach me that hope and gratitude go hand in hand. They are so grateful for all they have even if they have little, grateful for all the good things that happen in a day.

I have hope now. I had lost that when I was drinking. 
There is hope for everyone who is struggling. 
I often hear people say, "We can and do recover."
I see that every day. I read blogs that show me this every day.

I close with this quote, from a poet who writes children's poems, one I often read to my students when I was teaching.

Listen to the mustn't, child. 
Listen to the don'ts. 
Listen to the shouldn't, the impossibles, the won'ts. 
Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... 
Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” 

With Hope, Love and Gratitude,
On Day 1,087,
Wendy

Friday, August 18, 2017

Sobriety and Marriage


11th Grade 
Dear Readers,
On Monday, it will be Mr. UT's and my 41st wedding anniversary!
That is a LONG time! In fact, we met in 11th grade, and dated steady for 7 years until we got married!
(Well, except for 2 weeks in college when I broke up with him to date Peter, then decided life really wasn't greener on the other side!!)

I told hubs I don't even remember when or where he proposed to me! (He just shakes his head, knowing I have a very short memory except when it comes to food memories!)

When we were young we did not have much money, and yet we had a lot of fun. Camping trips, driving trips, little things that created a lovely life. We rented a little house and painted all the rooms in these brilliant colors. We loved that little house. (Except for the mice.)
When we had a fight, I'd run over to my grandma's house, a block away and my grandma and I would discuss the problem with men!
Our Wedding Day, A Long Time Ago!

We certainly had some very hard times during our marriage.There was a move to another state, where hubs found a job, and I fell into a deep depression due to losing my social support. I couldn't find a teaching job right away. I thought I wanted to leave my darling husband. I wasn't able to have a child. My depression was bad at times, and that often clouded my thinking. (Even writing about these times makes me feel the sadness.)

There were also so many wonderful sweet times. Times of love and joy. Times of travel, house fixing, bike riding, skiing, just plain fun. Mr. UT helped me in my classrooms, building shelves and helping me organize! There was much laughter in our house, as Mr. UT is very funny!

When I look back and see how we made it this far? Sometimes I am in awe!
We just never gave up. No matter what happened, we fought for our marriage. We had basically grown up together, being high school sweethearts. We had to learn, to compromise, to adapt, to change. We had to love unconditionally, even when this seemed so hard to do.
We also fought for each other. I wanted to protect my husband from all the bad things that could happen, and he supported me during all of my ups and down times and health problems. 

When my drinking became the biggest elephant in the room, we still never gave up.
It was a "we" effort, because truth be told, I am not sure I could have quit without his support. He stopped drinking when I did this last time, because he saw that I could not have alcohol in the house. It was too tempting.

Now, on the eve of our 41st wedding anniversary, and on the eve of coming up to my 3 years sober, we truly have found peace. Our love now is so strong, I know there is nothing that can break it. 

Perseverance, some stubbornness, willingness, surrender, forgiveness, honesty, and love and laughter. 
And Now!
These words are the words that hold our marriage together. 
I love you, dear husband.
Thank you for watching out for me, caring for me, providing for me, and loving me.

On Day 1,078, 
Wendy

Monday, August 7, 2017

Just For Today

Dear Readers,
Lately I have found myself feeling left out, about not being part of an "in-group".
I often feel very insecure when it comes to people. I will say something and then worry I said the wrong thing, or I talk too loud, and someone tells me to be quieter.
I often don't hear things people say in a group situation and so I either have to ask people to repeat, which gets old after a while for them, or I pretend I know what's going on, which leads to strange conversations. Sometimes I give up and leave.

I often want to be part of the "in-group" so much, that I forget to be happy with what gifts I already have!

Slowly but surely, I am learning that the secret to life for me, is being grateful. 
A woman I know, commented on the fact that Mr. UT is a wonderful guy.
I told her, I did not really appreciate him and all that he does for me, until I got sober.

Sobriety, (as Anne of Ainsobriety often says), is a gift.
It keeps bringing me new 'aha" moments. 
It gives me the chance to step back when I am upset or sad, and ask myself some questions, and then to be open to the answers.

And because I have lately had the feelings of being left out, I asked myself, "Why is it important to me to be included with these people?"
"What do I need or want that I am not getting?"

The answers that came to me were that I need and want connections, love and approval.
When I look at what I already have, and I discover that I have connections, love and approval right now.
I do not need to seek these things.
Instead, I want to appreciate the people that love me unconditionally.
This is a gift sobriety brings.

So, just for today, I will be sober, grateful, and probably a little loud!

With Love,
On 35 Months and 3 Days,
Wendy

PS - It was my birthday last Tuesday, and Mr. UT bought me a beautiful dress, and even got the right size!!
My Birthday Present from Mr. UT!!

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Don't Give Up

Dear Readers,
Mr. UT and I went for long hike today, in a beautiful park.
When we had gone two miles we debated how far we should continue hiking.
We ended up hiking 5 miles in 92 degrees heat.

Half the time, I complained to Mr. UT about how hot, tired, and thirsty I was.
But Mr. UT just kept reaching for my hand when I was going up a steep hill, and encouraged me to keep moving.

And guess what?
When we were done, I was so very glad I kept going and didn't give up.
The woods and lakes were lovely, green and blue, and little frogs were hopping everywhere.
I felt good about getting my exercise out in nature, and having time to discuss life with Mr. UT.

I am also thankful I went on a hard walk to find sobriety.
And yes, I complained to Mr. UT about how hard it was, how left out I felt, how I didn't think I could keep going.
But he, along with other people, offered me their hands, and pulled me along when my energy was sinking.
They talked me through my fears.

If I had given up on my road to sobriety, I would have never found the joy and peace of mind I have today.
Being sober brings me joy.
It brings joy to my marriage, joy to my family, and joy to all I meet in the world.
It brings joy when I water my flowers, volunteer, do the laundry, and have coffee.

It's not as if I am running around happy all the time.
I still have crabby times, tired times, sad times and angry times.
But there is an underlying joy and peace of mind knowing that these times will pass, and that I can meet any challenges that face me with grace.

It occurred to me last weekend, as Mr. UT and I ran around the city having too much fun, that I didn't miss drinking at all.
We went a museum, a sculpture garden, walked by lakes, and ate ice cream galore. (It was National Ice Cream Day!)

Now I am sore from our hike, my back is killing me.
I'm still a little crabby.
And I am so happy that I am still walking on the path of sobriety.

With an Iced Tea,
On Day 1,052,
Love, 
Wendy 

Friday, July 14, 2017

Grievance Stories

Dear Readers,
When I was in college, I had to do a supervised teaching semester in a kindergarten school. I went to meet the teachers and the school.
As soon as I returned home, I was informed by the dean of education, that they didn't want me to teach there.
He said It was because of my speech.
I was deeply hurt. This came out of nowhere. 
I was sent to see the speech and hearing clinic at the university, and found out that I had a hearing loss, and because of that I had a lisp.
I had no idea.

Later, when I first started teaching, I was hurt by another teacher.
She reported me to the superintendent, saying I shouldn't be teaching because of my speech. 
It was a horrible time. I almost quit teaching. I went into a severe depression. I didn't know who to trust on the staff, as she told many other teachers.

For many years I told these grievance stories, over and over. I struggled to let go of the hurt and pain. I was so angry. One night, many years later, in a drunk stupor, I called the teacher who reported me to the superintendent, and raged at her. 

These are but a few of my grievance stories. Stories where I have been hurt, but struggle to let them go, to learn from them, but not carry them. I first heard of the term grievance story from a book called Forgive For Good, by Dr. Fred Luskin.  Here is an excerpt from an interview he gave on Virtues for Life:

"A grievance is created when we take a normal life event that is painful, make it very personal as opposed to something that just happened, and then exaggerate how personal it is. Then we practice this pattern over and over, and forget that there are other ways of looking at the same situation."

When I was drinking, my grievance stories were about how horrible work was, and about how everyone had wronged me. They were magnified by the alcohol. I would sit for hours with my drinking buddy discussing everything that I was resentful about. 

Now, you can't rush the healing from these real hurts. 

In order for someone to forgive, "They have to have done some grief work about their loss or wound. They have to have done some grieving of it, which means that they have felt the pain and acknowledged their loss. Also, that they’ve looked at how they handled things and said, “Could I have handled it better?” So a lot of inner exploration and again going through these stages of grief. Then when these stages have been explored, you can look at letting it go. So you can’t forgive too early before you’ve had a chance to grieve the loss. That’s the biggest obstacle that people run into.

Now, one of my biggest grievance stories is about how I was hurt by being left out, or not being included.
My other one is being angry at my body for making me deaf, and the loss of hearing music. 

I really do have a choice. I can continue making myself feel bad, or I can change my story.
In terms of feeling left out, or feeling hurt, I can choose to see that in most cases, nobody tried to hurt me on purpose. If I reach out to people, I feel strong and happy, rather than wait to be invited some place.

I can choose to forgive my body for making me deaf.
I have had to grieve the loss of music. (A cochlear implant changes music and makes it sound very strange, and unpleasant.)
Now, I am telling people how lucky I was to be able to have insurance to cover a cochlear implant, so I can hear speech. 
I am telling myself and other people how happy I am I can hear birds, and hear people talking! I can hear speech on the radio now, too! 

Real life takes work. I just don't want to sit around moping about all the hurts I had past and present. 
By taking drinking out of the equation, I have been able to heal and let go of the resentments much faster. But I still have a ways to go.

In college, the dean found me another school to do my supervised teaching of kindergarten, and the teacher there was warm, loving, and I thrived. 
In the case of the teacher complaining about me, the district office put me in a different elementary school, and there I also thrived. 

Being grateful for all that I have, and remembering I can grieve, and then move on, helps me change my stories from a poor me Wendy, to a strong Wendy!

With A Sunny Walk,
On Day 1,044
Wendy

Thursday, July 6, 2017

When Pigs Fly

Pricilla Likes to Stay on the Ground
Dear Readers,
Yesterday I impulsively bought a flying pig for my yard. Mr. UT really didn't think we NEEDED a flying pig, but I did.

Mr. UT thinks I am getting a little bit daffy in my older years, as I keep adding animals to my yard. I have Bunter, the squirrel, (thank you Barb), and Hedgie, and now Pricilla, the flying pig. Oh, and I forgot I have a dragonfly, too. (But he's really a bug not an animal).

These little guys bring me delight when I go out in the yard and see them. We also have many real squirrels, birds, rabbits, deer, fox, and chipmunks.
If I am ever bored, I just go outside and sit quietly and all of a sudden there is a zoo out back! (Oh, I guess Mr. UT is right after all about being daffy, although I prefer the word eccentric!)
Ready to go to breakfast!

Mr. UT and I had a delightful sober holiday!
Four long days of biking, golfing, seeing a bad movie, going to yoga, having friends over for dinner, and riding our bikes to breakfast.
(Well, Mr. UT doesn't go to yoga, so he mowed the lawn.)

This was my third 4th of July sober.
I did not miss drinking this year. I am seeing more people who don't drink, or don't drink much, as opposed to when I was drinking, I was only open to seeing people who drank a lot. I have changed what I do now, and instead of shopping and drinking on the 4th, I am shopping and not drinking!

It feels lighter, being sober.
Things have lightened up.
Even the gray days are not so heavy on me.
The heat is not as oppressive.
I don't worry quite as much.
Things don't have to be so perfect.
My hurts are not as deep or last as long.

I joined Twitter today, and have been laughing all day long.
I joined to meet up with the wonderful people I have met in the blogging world, who support each other at  #recoveryposse.
This will be another support for my recovery, and will also bring me much needed laughter.
And laughing, like loving, is so healing.

With a Bike, a Bug, and a Pig,
Bunter
But NO gnomes allowed!

On Day 1,036,
Wendy

@untipsyteacher

Hedgie





Friday, June 30, 2017

Who Am I?

Dear Readers,
A young man that works for the foundation I volunteer for, read some of my blog posts, and said it reminded him of a poem, written by a Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who was in a Nazi concentration camp, and would soon be hanged.
Green but Buggy! Run! LOL

It speaks to the doubt I often have about a public face and private face, about not knowing who I really am. The confusion of wondering what is my purpose, of being both happy and depressed, of being outwardly smiling and inwardly confused.
I know I am not alone in this suffering.

Now, I have had wonderful things happen in my life, and I am not comparing what this man went through to my problems.
But the poem speaks to the bigger issue of being human, and the feelings and struggles we all have.

Today, I am not suffering.
I am happy in my volunteer place, packing kits with the life-saving drug, Naloxone.
I am happy kissing Mr. UT.
I am happy writing this post.
I am happy giving support to other people.
I am happy at my coffee shop where I love to read and write.
I am happy at my AA meetings,
These stairs are good for my legs!
I am happy walking outside in the park, with green surrounding me.
I am happy at yoga.

Being sober has made life so much easier, calmer, and I have gained peace.
Peace to know nothing is forever, feelings come and go, helping other people feeds my soul, and I am okay.

It's a beautiful poem.

Who Am I?
"Who am I?  They often tell me
I stepped from my cell's confinement
Calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
Like a Squire from his country house.

Who am I? They often tell me
I used to speak to my warders 
freely and friendly and clearly,
as through it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me
I bore the days of misfortune
equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I myself know of myself?
Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
Struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing
My throat, yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,
tossing in expectation of great events,
powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
faint, and ready to say farewell to it all.

Who am I? This or the Other?
Am I one person to-day and to-morrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
And before myself a contemptible woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me like a beaten army
Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely question of mine,

Whoever I am, Thou Knows, O God, I am thine."


Below are two sites that give more information about his life and the meaning of the poem.

http://www.marksturgess.org/blog/who-am-i-a-poem-by-d-bonhoeffer
http://www.dbonhoeffer.org/who-was-db2.htm


With Love,
On Day 1,030,

Wendy

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Montreal Vacation

Dear Readers,
We are on vacation this 
week, in Montreal, Canada!

I am sorry I will be unable comment much on your blogs, as I am using our I Pad.
But I will try to read them, and like them, and catch up with comments when we get home.

The coffee here is super yummy!
The people so nice.
Not missing drinking at all.
I'm enjoying sparkling water and tonic water with lime at our dinners and on our roof top terrace. 

I learned a few basic words in French, and this is what I say...

Je suis désolé, je ne parle pas français
...which means, I am sorry, I do not speak French!

While I was watching the news, there was a report about the opioid addiction problem
in Canada. The Canadian Health Board approved three safe injection sites in Montreal.
Here is the news article.


Hugs to all of you,
On Day 1,020,

Wendy

Monday, June 12, 2017

The Coolest Thing Ever!

Dear Readers,
Mr. UT and I rarely go out to movies, because I can not hear most of the dialogue.
We watch most movies at home so I have closed caption.
(See this post about my cochlear implant.)
So I was so surprised there is a really cool device that you can get closed caption on movies in theaters!


We saw Wonder Woman, and I was amazed at how much I could now understand by reading. Jokes were the best! I laughed right along with other people!

I am so happy about this!
Not all movies have closed caption, but the major ones all do.

Now, I have to say something about movies.
I used to think of going to movies as a time to drink. Before the movies, at the movies, and after the movies.
In fact, how I could watch a movie and not drink was beyond me.

I am not proud of this fact, but one time I left Mr. UT in the theatre and went to have a drink by myself at a bar. Ugh.

This time we kind of went nuts, and had popcorn, Twizlers, and Peanut M&M's.
It cost us a mint, but how much fun munching and crunching and reading through the movie!!

Every time I post a picture of us smiling, it's a real thing. The smiles are real, the happiness is real. We are in a far better place not drinking. 
In my drinking past, the smiling photos would have a lot of pain about my drinking behind them. 
I want to show everyone that you can be sober, have good times, live life, kiss, and look forward to more!
  
Dinner Outside
With Movies and Junk Food,
On Day 1,012,

Wendy